Too Good at Goodbyes

I want to thank you today. It's because of you that I'm not afraid. Not afraid to cut people out of my life. Not afraid to say goodbye when necessary. Yes I miss people, but I don't break when they leave. I have learned how to not get attached to someone so much that you can't stay away a single day. Not to do so much for anyone that you end up hurting yourself.

You made me see so many places. I traveled hours just to see you for minutes. Money didn't matter to me in front of my love. Yet all you did was to move on so quickly and so easily. It was so easy for you to play all this time. I knew all of this, at each and every moment, at each step you took away from me. But I had blind trust, it was optimistic bias that make me stand so long.

Now the thing is.. Did I stop trusting people? Did I distance myself from everyone. Did I stop making efforts to keep loved ones happy fearing that I would get nothing in return. They say it right, if you get your heart broken you are on the edge of a cliff. You either fly high or you fall down.

So today I was in college and ran out of money. A friend called me and asked to get something to eat. So I got something for him without letting him know that even I was starving. Yeah, so the answer is yes. I can still do this for people. Stay up late to hear what has given them a hard time.Make them feel better.

The difference is, you taught me not to expect anything in return from anyone. I cross limits for people. I can still travel for hours to meet someone. Still trust people. But I don't break anymore when people leave. I live carefree and have no hard feelings left for you. So I'll treat you with a smile if we ever meet accidentally. Just a thank you post because, my world revolved around you, but now I'm the center.

Lying Out Of Love

There was a group of three girls who planned to go on a jungle safari. The one who knew driving well was a calm person and the other two simply freaked out at minor inconvenience. Together they planned and settled at making it a three day trip for Jim Corbett. So soon after the classes got over on Saturday, they started packing bags. They told their parents that they were going on an educational trip so that they won't worry. One of them took her mother's car. They were all 20 and found themselves capable enough of having their shit together.

On Sunday morning they started off, and had a great day. Next day too they clicked loads of pictures, relaxed in the resort and had fun swimming. Then it was their last day, they listened to pop songs and enjoyed their safari. Soon it was dusk and one of them dozed off. The girl driving was also kinda sleepy. Suddenly a black buck appeared out of no where on the track and the other girl panicked and shouted. The girl who was driving got distracted and moved the steering to save the animal. And the next thing they saw was their car crashing down a big pine tree.

"Whose idea was this?" the owner of the car shouted. "It was me." they replied in union. All her mother could do was laugh. They were grounded for one week.

Whenever someone lies to us we just get angry. We take steps out of wrath that we later regret. But sometimes lying is not for selfish means. It is for the people you care for, people you love. Sometimes it becomes necessary to soothe a person with sweet lies rather than bitter truths. 

Well if you think that a person who lies to you will hesitate or won't be able to look you in the eyes you are so wrong. Compulsive liars can lie straight to your face and you won't have any lie detector in the world which they cannot fool. They have a greater part of grey white matter in their brains. Studies even reveal that intelligent people lie more often. They take it as a measure of smartness.

Anyways it's the purpose that matters. Not telling anyone to lie more often in any way XD. It is completely wrong to cheat on someone for own personal benefits. If your lie leads to the downfall of another person, if you hurt someone bad intentionally so hope karma screws you. Yet it is not so bad if you do it for the right purpose.

        

  

     

Times When Realism Enters

Val found a cub of a leopard
on the day which she could never forget
What a stormy day it was
If she left it alone, she thought she would regret!

The cub has such glistening eyes
it's fur so soft and yet still wet,
She was overwhelmed and felt warm
Decided to keep him as a pet!

Then as it began growing up
It was far away from sedate
played people who came to meet Val
Injured some, but she said it was a mistake!

As it grew older the incidents grew
but she was a woman of persistence
The zoo keepers wanted to take it away
But she loved it, couldn't bear the distance.

Val had a beautiful child days after
now the baby was Val's pursuit
but the leopard attacked the baby too,
it was finally the time she had to shoot!!!

People You Should Never Loose

Have you ever had a feeling like everything has suddenly fallen into place?

I'm recently getting so much positive vibes. I'm staying at my house in Raipur since the last few days. Got to see sunrise after such a long time. Last time I woke up so early was when I had to go to Jharsuguda, Odisha. The scene was so utterly pleasing. But maybe I was just happy.

So many things change with time. Like.. it was not that I woke up early today. I couldn't sleep. So many thoughts are bubbling up. Now that I don't have any reason to be troubled or waste my time and money on, I think I have become little more responsible..Have you heard of the phrase, whatever happens, that happens for good. If you fail in something, life has always so much more ahead.. that waits for you. Sometimes it's just the test to check how strong you are.

Well, going back to the positive things I was talking about...

I think I'm in love. I'm in love with this new version of me. Isn't it great when you start getting a more clear picture of what you actually want. Start taking sensible decisions. Say no to things that are actually not meant for you. Keep people that matter happy. Get to hear things, exactly that you want to hear! Doing things that actually make you happy. Like imagine kicking the person you hate from the edge of a cliff. Just kidding :P. It's more like riding bikes or sometimes learning drums from Allan. 

Realize that there are people who deserve your affection more than the others. Set of people for whom you can cross all limits. Yes a set of people! It's so great to have like 6-7 people in your life who pamper you. The once whom you can enjoy Netflix with. Whom you can call anytime without a reason, whom you can go to just to get those anti-depressing hugs when you had a bad day. People who know it's definitely about them, as soon as they read this. 

I love you guys so much you would never know. I would loose any argument with you just to keep things as they are. This thing that we have seems so vulnerable now. Today while watching the sun rise, the people who had been insensitive to me at some point or the other crossed my mind again. But then these guys crossed my mind, trying to make me smile even in my thoughts. And I smiled! 

It's my parents Anniversary in few days. So I'm thinking of plans right now. And that's one more positive thing happening with me. I have learned to keep a balance though. In simple words, started setting right priorities. Isn't it that all that surrounds you  was made for you, made for you to feel privileged. Try posting a smile on faces of all the above mentioned people, then tell me how it feels!

Things That Can't be Strategised

They sat there in Mc Donalds having a meal for two. She kept staring at him while he was busy doing his work, sending mail after mail, attending calls. It didn't felt as if they had met after six months. They both were so calm. she tried to pay attention to what he kept telling her about his work. But her mind drifted to some other place, some other time.

Her mind flooded with memories as she took the last bite of the burger.

One year ago.. 
The same person who was sitting in front on him was talking over phone with her. They were planning for their trip to some places. "I won't need a phone there, will you?" he asked. "Yes of course, I will", she said with that tint of slyness. She could see his eyebrows frown through the phone even when he knew she was kidding.

"Okay, I'll keep staring at you when you'll be busy. What else will my mind think of when I'll have you sitting next to me". She smiled at all his cheesy lines back then. They planned nearly impossible things together.  

Now after all this time, all she could do was stare at him blankly while he had his eyes glued to the macbook screen. Such an asshole, she thought. In the past few months, she learned that self harm was too mainstream.

It doesn't take much for anyone to step out of their skin. Or someone's life, or any situation.. idk. Now she dines alone some days, watching people around her. To her it's like.. no more hollow conversations. People look at her. All those movies make them think that sad people go to restaurants alone. It's the food that gets her attention the most anyways.

Her

This post is written by a guest writer...

DivyaDan Lakra | IITB | Lives in Mumbai 

She was a beautiful girl and her eyes looked like the way a puddle does on a rainy days. Her smile was magical, and her laugh, even more so. And she had plenty of admirers, evident from the wide gapes and frequent stares. But she never really paid attention to any of that. She never went out with anyone. She never dated any guy at all. I proposed her to be my girlfriend, she denied. She told me we were friends and I believed her. We were friends.

I would find myself thinking about her in the middle of my work. I would hear something funny and I would get this urge to call her up and tell her and hear her laugh at the other end. And for the first time in my life, I was scared. The girl whose eyes lit up like they could set fire to a forest when I told her about the things I loved, scared me.

It was pretty late into the spring when she confessed that she was starting to grow on me. I liked talking to her and listening to her voice. She would always ask me about my day. I liked knowing what she had to say about everything I told her. She asked a lot of questions. Sometimes she would put forth her opinion, other times she would just nod and wave it off with a vague laugh. She liked listening to me too.

She changed her mind a bit too often. So much that one would think that she was a different person every week. The way she would remember something I told her months ago. She remembered all the dates; dates when we met, the environment and our anniversary, and funnily enough, I don’t remember much about any of those. She would listen to my stories with such curiosity that made my voice grow heavy and by the end of the story, her eyes would look like she already knew everything.

I remember this one time when we met during the summers. It was late evening, dark. I was leaving the next day. She kept on saying not to leave so early. The emotions and gloom of those words from her lips wished to cuff me there longer. I said,” No, I have to go” .When you are in a long distance relationship you don’t know what things to say, what words to utter when you are standing in front of her, few centimeters away. And it was pretty bad because I did it.

She hugged me and she looked happy. That was the thing about her, she always looked happy, even when she wasn’t. There was a wonderful thing about her presence too. When she was in room, you could never feel her presence but when she left, everyone felt her absence. I always knew that if she ever left, she was the girl who would haunt me for the rest of my life. And deep down, I always knew she would leave. She was never the staying type. And I knew that when she would go, I would let her go, that too with every ounce of dignity in my being. Because she was a weird wild fire and world has her jungle. I was nothing but a tree she chose to blow kisses on her way.

And I was right, she left. And she left without a word. And I think that’s kind of fair, because if she couldn’t stay, how could her words. I didn’t reach out to her, neither did she, because I knew that just being with her own self was too much for her and she needed to get away from herself.  And honestly, I didn’t mind.  Have you ever found a book or a song that was really beautiful, and beautiful in a way that it wasn’t to anyone else? And it’s beauty felt like a hurricane coming down on you and you felt terrified. So you kept it hidden, afraid that if you read the book again or listened to the song once more, you wouldn’t feel the way you did the first time. I don’t know if it makes sense to you but this is why I let her go. It seemed right. ….because she wasn’t just a girl. She was a train wreck, and I don’t think anyone can live on the inside of it, anyone but her. She was insane in her own ways and I was there to pacify hurricanes within her.